Ah yes, the classic emergency situation. A siren blares, a crowd gathers, and somewhere in the chaos, one brave soul whips out their phone—not to call for help, but to start filming in 4K. Because nothing says “I’m a compassionate human being” quite like holding your phone steady while someone else holds in a collapsed lung.
Let’s face it: when disaster strikes, some people rush to help… and others rush to watch. Not necessarily out of malice, of course. It’s curiosity. It’s concern. It’s the adrenaline rush of almost doing something useful without ever actually risking your comfort, schedule, or latte.
In theory, we all love the idea of being the helpful bystander. In practice, many of us just want a front-row seat to someone else’s misfortune, so we can maybe step in at the last second, deliver some assistance, and then casually mention it at brunch for the next six months.
“Oh yeah, I helped a guy who got hit by a scooter. I don’t like to talk about it, but here’s a 15-minute TikTok on trauma management and moral courage.”
Of course, helping others feels good. That’s kind of the problem. Sometimes we’re not helping because it’s needed—we’re helping because it boosts our self-image. We feel heroic. Righteous. A little smug, even. And when there’s an audience? Oh, the empathy flows like content in a For You feed.
And then there’s the flip side: when we don’t help, but do observe. We hover. We whisper. We share live updates like it’s breaking news. (“He’s still on the ground. I think his leg’s broken. OMG, wait—did you get that on camera?”)
Some might call it “bystander apathy.” But let’s be real—it’s more like “bystander performance art.” We’ve replaced instincts with Instagram, and urgency with Reels.
To be clear, there are amazing, selfless people who jump in without hesitation or expectation. They just tend not to include a ring light in their trauma response kits.
So the next time you witness an emergency and feel the urge to help, ask yourself:
- Am I really helping, or am I just starring in the movie of my own kindness?
- Am I calling 911—or checking how many views this would get on my Story?
Because in the end, the real emergency might just be our need to be seen doing good.